slowly drifting down the river of sweat. exhausted. battered. muscles spent and abused till they failed me. or perhaps I failed them. just like I failed myself plenty of times. it seemed easy and effortless in the beginning for the stakes were low. so what if I fail again, right? It actually got more and more complicated as the time passed. It went from so what if I fail again to do I want to fail again? I still failed. despite knowing that the stakes are getting bigger. despite me getting bigger. fatter. failure. loser. never-been-er. fuck. still… I kept coming back. keep coming back. not ready to admit defeat. although the breaks in between got longer. despair too. now again. ready to burn. burn till I drop from exhaustion. again and again.
I am an aftermath of an emotional destruction.
my muscles feel less tired now. time to fight again!

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