Day 24: Focus

Focus! Focus! Focus! 
Don’t allow any distractions. Dawning the n-th espresso. Feel it wash over. Focus. Focus. Focus. Don’t let it slip. Don’t slip. You just can’t. Even as I feel the draw of melancholy or perhaps it’s just tiredness. But how can I be tired if I just down a freshly pulled espresso? How can I be tired if I feel espresso starting to kick. I can sense the rush coming. My hands are already shaking. My right leg as well. It’s definitely not tiredness. Perhaps it’s stress. Anxiety maybe?

Focus! Focus! Focus! 
I can’t really understand how it can slip away so easily. As if it’s made out of thin air. I mean, in reality it actually is. Unless there’s an actual physical part inside my brain that is responsible for focus. I guess then it’s not really just a thin air. Though I still feel it’s just a concept concocted to actually distract from realising how incredibly doomed most of our realities is.

Focus Focus! Focus! 
Run run run. Do do do. Be part of the rat race. Belong. If that is not enough then do it for God. If you work hard, if you work through insanity, if you push through unjust ways, then you will be rewarded. So pull up your sleeves and work work work. Don’t worry about the reasons. Actually let God be the reason. Or money. Or tradition. Or honor. Or morality. Or whatever else fits to tame you, to discipline you, to reign you in, to shackle you into gold chains. They may not look like gold chains but they sure sound pretty. Just imagine that they are.

Focus! Focus! Focus! Engage in the rat race. Spin spin spin. Don’t worry if most of the things make no sense. The rewards will be plentiful once you reach the end. Focus, focus, focus! Fuck I need more espresso. I will not cave in! Not letting the low take over. At least not yet.

Focus! Focus! Focus!

FOCUS
noun

A point of concentration.

A state or condition permitting clear perception or understanding.

The act of concentrating on a particular aim and not wasting time or energy on other things.

tamed & possessed, 2016

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