tonight I hurt myself. it was not a very remarkable incident. at least not from the standpoint of my other more memorable failings. maybe it was because of my eyes or I simply just slipped and tumbled down a set of concrete stairs. I counted 12 steps. perhaps there were more. funny how I can’t remember how many there were, even though I certainly felt each step I bounced off of on my way down.

as I lay on the bottom trying to figure out if any of my bones are broken the staircase light switched off. smart to have automatic shut off system. saves the energy. gives me a chance to wallow in absolute darkness. no broken bones. perhaps I slightly twisted my bad ankle. I feel no blood trickling on my skin. my head miraculously avoided any collision with concrete. I just lie still hoping I will forever blend in with pitch dark nothingness.

perhaps I would have made it if the light didn’t suddenly switch on. footsteps echoed as someone else was descending the staircase. it was a time for me to get up. I really didn’t want to inconvenience someone’s late night.
I walk into the freezing night. my body aches. bruised ribcage. numb left arm. hot tingling in my back. fuck, I’ll be covered in bruises in a day or two. I can taste blood in my mouth. did I byte my tongue? I’m hurting.

what the hell happened to you? you used to have dreams. you used to have ambitions. you used to shine. you used to be fun. these days you are nothing more than a sad excuse for a sack of bones, skin, and flesh. bruised sack of bones, skin, and flesh.
repulsive, I know…