Today I feel nothing but tears and darkness. I feel each of my fails and deficiencies. Be it mental or physical. I am here because of my choices. Because of my actions and inactions. Because of my reactions and lack of them. I am accepting responsibility for being less than and worse. Accepting that I have caused harm and hurt. Accepting that accepting responsibility doesn’t make it ok. Far from it. But it can inform my now, my choices, my be. Both be that is now and yes, whatever be I will morph into because of my future choices, actions, inactions, reactions and deflections I have yet to make.

It’s just so fucking dreadful today…

6 thoughts on “dreadflower

  1. Sometimes we are the caterpillar and other times we are the butterfly. Our pain and regret not only shapes up, but comes back to haunt us at times not of our choosing. The strength of your be will be challenged, but know that it is what got you here, and is far stronger than you can even understand.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Agreed. It’s actually best to not try to ignore or bury them deep within because no matter how hard we try they always find a way to come back emboldened and stronger than ever. I try to just let them roam around and accept them as they come just like I accept the clouds in the sky. Eventually they dissolve just like everything else does in life…

      Liked by 2 people

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