This is my right eye. Today another nail was hammered into the coffin where this tired and battered eye of mine already semi-rests due to a fairly rare glaucoma (in my age group especially) I was gifted at some point in my life. Sadly I ignored the first signs that something was wrong and by the time pigmentary glaucoma was discovered majority of the optic nerve in my right eye was fried. After a few years of treatments the meds I was taking to help stop deterioration stopped working sufficiently. Last attempt to stave off truly premature blindness in my right eye is an emergency surgery. Of course due to current Covid 19 explosion things are complicated. The two truly nice and kind doctors that examined me discussed my options. They told me that one option is to do nothing. Doing nothing means I would completely lose eyesight within a couple years. Right now I can only see shapes and structures. I can’t read or recognize faces anymore due to blurriness. Nevertheless that is still enough for me to still have a 3D perception intact. So doing nothing was not the option. Surgery carries certain risks. One of course being that I lose my eyesight immediately. Another that I get infected with Covid 19 while in the hospital. In the end I chose surgery that will take in the beginning of November. That is if the whole country doesn’t shut down by then. Add current situation the world is in into the mix and the whole thing suddenly feels surreal. Perhaps it’s just that I am afraid. Or that the world seems like a shithole. Or that I am looking for some sense. Nevertheless, there is no surrender. Not today. Not ever.