Perhaps I was too early. Perhaps too late.

“… cause the risk belongs with you somehow…”

Metric’s Risk blasts through my mind as I look at the clouds descending. Threatening. Promising to engulf the mountain, disappear me. My heart racing. Muscles tired. Aching.

“Started slow
Started late
Started strong
Then we lost faith
Started slow
Started to lose control
The more we accelerate”

I slip on a rock polished by years of thunderstorms and wind. My knee hits the ground. Blood starts to trickle. I am 5 hours into this journey. First few hours I convinced myself I am invincible as I raced up the mountain. Taking no breaks. Not even to replace some of the sweat. Not until I reached my first goal that happened near the end of the third hour. Even then I arrogantly waved away a little bit of a break. “Food? Food is for wimps!” I roared.

“So you’re beaten up
But you bounce back
It’s all part of the pull
And the story runs
Like a soundtrack
We repeat ’til we’re full”

Forward I pushed. Strong…
I didn’t even notice when exactly I sat down on a boulder that somehow was still clinging to the mountain. Spent. As I came to I jumped up and started going forward once more. Not for long though. Less than a few minutes in I again found myself sitting. This time on the ground in the middle of what appeared to be a throughway for the rocks and water during thunderstorms. Tired as fuck. Gone.

Still! I repeated these few steps a couple times more. In the back of my mind I knew I was done. Defeated by own arrogance. Defeated by carelessness.

As the clouds continued to descend lower and lower I suddenly snapped back into presence. Time to admit I wasn’t ready. Time to turn back. And back I went…

“So there’s no way to hide
Find some daylight
There’s another way to leave the Garden of Eden
And I’m inclined to try
Find some daylight
Open my eyes
There’s another way to leave the Garden of Eden
And I’m inclined to try”

While I was defeated this time I am far from giving up. There’s another way.

And I’m inclined to try.

3 thoughts on “Risk

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