some days it’s just not enough. some days no amount of positivity and enthusiasm is enough. no matter how hard I try.

no matter what tool (be it physical or mental) I use to counter the dreadful indifference and negativity that is thrown at me. the toxic manure washes over me. sucks me in. sends me packing down the road to why bother place.

death suddenly becomes inviting. existence suddenly loses any meaning. internally and externally. doesn’t matter. it’s just not enough. nothing is.

on such days solitude is the closest to something resembling a little bit relief…

still. it’s not enough.

no.

not today.

tomorrow is another day. no?