I = shit

I feel like shit. I feel like shit a lot. In between feeling like shit I feel elevated and full of life force that could move mountains and oceans. The in-betweens are short lived and nothing more than distractions. Perhaps I need to start to medicate. Bipolar disorder. Personality disorder. Feels of utter insignificance. Feels of the end. Intertwined with self deception that everything is possible and that paradise is but a step away. I feel like shit for thinking that. I feel like shit for writing this. I feel like shit for complaining about feeling like shit. I = shit. Now. Perhaps in a few heart beats I won’t think that. Perhaps in a few heart beats I will be no more. Perhaps in a few heart beats I will awake from a deep nightmare infested sleep. In a world that makes sense. In a world that is simple. In a world that doesn’t exist. In a world where I = shit.

2 thoughts on “I = shit

    1. Thank you for the kind words. They mean a lot. Life is definitely a perpetual whirlwind that can’t be tamed or stopped. At least not until the heart beats. Some days are easier than others. Some are absolute garbage. Some are all about perseverance, some about persistence, others about my ability to restrain myself from making stupid or/and insane decisions… Sadly restrain is not my stronger suit… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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