day 168 . small things

Never lose track of the things that bring you excitement, calm or yes, YOU to your life. No matter how little it’s worth holding on to. I’ve been diagnosed with a disease recently that I had troubles and still have trouble coping with. To accept the new reality that in a way explains part of you but also at the same time brings a certain self condemnation has turned out to be a crippling affair. Took months to decipher what the fuck this new reality is or means. In the process I lost a lot. Because I forgot about the things that make me adore life. Sure, in times of darkness they may appear trivial and without substance but they are nevertheless the beacons that guide you through the gloom and doom. To ignore them is to plunge deeper into the cesspool of despair. So, as I finally attempt and battle to live once again in a world of light I hold onto these small blimps. Sometimes they are trivial, like a cup of espresso, other times it’s exchange with a long lost friend. Either makes you realize that there are connections you’ve made that matter and feed with positivity. Connections give hope. Connections that will be there. Awaiting patiently. Because you are worth it. Just like they are worth it. Of your love. Of you. YOU.

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