day 47 . do absolutely nothing

lately i’ve been experiencing an extra dose of restlessness and anxiety inside. observing the world around me, feeling its anguish, its duplicity, its hypocrisy… listening to how evil is justified by saying ‘our evil’ is lesser than their. it sickens me. i feel daggers of indifference being pushed viciously into my soul repeatedly. i look around and feel nothing but roaring rage. lost in it. i hate it. i hate myself for not raising the voice. for not breaking out of this mind-numbing procrastination. i hate my fear. i hate my hate. i hate it that i’m really not free to go. i chained myself to the bottom of this cesspool of materialism. i hate myself for chaining myself. i hate that i’m whining. i hate that i am one with this world of hate. i hate that i betray my heart. i hate that i’m a traitor of my own feelings… and still i do nothing… absolutely nothing.

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