afterlife

I am committed. Fuck that, it’s more than that! I am obsessed! To always fight for being better today than I was yesterday! It wasn’t always like that. Not even close. I caved in. Gave up. Didn’t start. Just talked and then rarely walked the talk. Then sulked and felt sorry for myself. Then got angry at myself. Loathed myself. Then made new plans. New set of words flew out. Again, they rarely transpired into an action. When they did I was ecstatic! I am on the way! I settled. I regressed. I fell. I failed. The cycle repeated itself. Same steps sane failures. Failing to see that to repeat the same thing again and again and expect different results is insanity. It wasn’t until a series of events took place that completely shattered me. Brought me to the brink of just giving up on life completely. Luckily the spirit within was a stubborn little bastard! He didn’t quit. Not even close. However, instead of rushing in again doing the same I stepped back. Introspection took place. Examination. Facing some hard truths. Meeting them. Not running away. Not again. Never again.

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