I am sinking
into a place I
am both familiar
and not with a
place where shadows
lord over
the world there is
nothing but blur
in front of me
a pull deeper
towards the dark
desire to just
stop to be my
flesh feels foreign
even the pain
abandons me
a prisoner of
high and low
mania long gone
I try to crawl
out of this place
every day to
exist in the world
I care little
for torn apart
by guilt that
my purpose is
non existent guilt
that I am
a harbinger of
nothing but disappointment
and pain guilt
that feeds my
desire to be
swallowed by perpetual
darkness I sink.

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